I’ve finally realized why I needed to give up my business for a while. I have this tendency to plan and scheme. To try and nail down my future, how I want things to be, to somehow create the life that I want to live.
In doing all that all I somehow forget to live. I forget to create the things that I want to. Its somehow like trying to swim against a tide rather than swimming with it. It somehow disconnects me from my feelings, from my dreams rather than drawing me into it.
What I know is that I want to have a small business… and that’s the problem. I want to create a business rather than create art. I want to make money rather than live a life with creativity.
The truth is I need to learn to live in the moment. If there is art to sell then great. I hope that it might lead to something more but I need to somehow learn to live in the flow rather than scheme where it will end up.
All I know is that I am so much more peaceful not planning and scheming, and trying to avoid worry… now I need to learn how to do a creative lifestyle with out over planning.
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Julie