Tuesday, 17 February 2009


I have signed up to do an e-course called Unravelling. Its a photography course looking at connecting more deeply with yourself. 

I've been getting really excited over the last couple of days waiting for the start of the course and now its here... well I find myself turning and looking for my familiar rock to hide under.

Now the truth is I haven't taken a single photograph yet for the course and I already flowers 024 copyfeel like I'm unravelling, well falling apart at least.  I find myself besieged with fears that I'm not good enough, that my photos will be dull and boring, that it will reveal that my life isn't good enough and just how messy I am. 

Logically I know I don't have to share anything and that its not a competition to see who has captured the best image.  Still my fear says I cant do it, that I will be bottom of the class and find myself as an outsider to the group.

Man I didn't think the idea of taking pictures of my feet would be just so hard.

I guess I am currently on a journey which seems to be all about stripping away some of the masks which I hide behind.  Because my photography isn't great and often I do not think too much about the composition of the photograph, I know the snaps I take are going to be raw.  They are going to show me things which I find uncomfortable and are just so gonna slam that not good enough button.  I fear the images will not be beautiful enough.

Listen to me I'm comparing in my head my photographs to someone, in the course leader, who is a professional photographer.... arrrrrrrggg

I just really hope that over the next few weeks I really do become more connected with me and in finding that sense of me have courage to show the real me to the world.

1 comment:

  1. Julie, you can do it! go have another look at that video i posted yesterday - i have been cringing about it for the last 24 hours :) we are all in the same boat, i promise you - just start gently, start where you are.... and go at your own pace.. you've already taken the first step by joining up.. let's see where it takes you, okay? little by little :) x


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