Check Out To Find You Already Had What You Wanted

I am one of these people who enjoys planning, enjoys scheming and working out where I want things to go. The problem with this is that it can cause me to feel disconnected. Feeling like there is something more to life than I am somehow connected to.

My observation in life is that we tend to fall into categories those who tend to scheme all the time and feel overwhelmed and those who tend to drift and feel lost. Now I know these are generalisations but I’ve experienced as well as known the truth of it this week.

As a therapist I often explain that to have too much stress is to burn out but just as disastrous to mood and efficiency is rust out, when you just don't have enough pressure.

Last week I had a week away with my parents. When I do this, the world literally stops. By day 2 I was getting really wound up by doing nothing. By day 5 my husband and I were going loopy.

I had taken my paints to do stuff, a book to read, a screenplay I’m working on, things on how to improve my blog but I just couldn't get into anything. It was as if stopping robbed me of the ability to perform. Not only did my motivation vanish by so did my ideas. There was no planning, no scheming and I can genuinely say I felt my mood sink really fast. Rust out.

So how do I hold that with the learning how to slow down? How do I give myself space to plan and scheme without putting too much pressure on myself? It is almost as if I need to plan and scheme how to do a simple life. Some of it could be summarised by this great post about slowing down on Zen Habits.

Planning to slow down but having something to slow down from seems just as important. So I’ve decided that I will do that by identifying what I want from this week, then making a point of making it happen with specific goals.

So what are the key things that I want?

1. I want time to create whether that be with glass, silver, paint or words
2. I want to have time for relationships, with people I love
3. I want to earn money from activities which I see as being worthwhile.
4. I want to make a difference.
5. I want to be me,
6. I want to fully be who I was created to be, because only then will I be fully happy.

So things I need to do this week

1. Set specific time to create
2. Invite friends round for a meal or to the pub at least if I don't quite get round to cleaning the house
3. The truth is I see my paid job as worthwhile. I just need to learn how to give it direction. Therefore I need to set some time to plan and scheme… ooo things I do well.

I guess 4-6 will happen as I work on the other things. By focusing on the specifics I perceive that I will be able to stream line my life and therefore slow down. Interestingly to have time fro friends and time to create I have to slow down as well.

So back to the title of the post, I realise that as my life has sped back up today my ideas, inspiration and desire to create are returning. If I make a point of doing my already, everyday life, but slower and simpler I already have everything I need and want. So very simple but so very true.