Friday, 10 July 2009

Studio Update???

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I am only writing today as Friday is supposed to be my studio update day.  I have no update as I haven't made anything all week. That feels really weird to me as normally I feel creative a lot of the time.  I feel at the moment that all I have the energy to do is cope with my paid job.

Where I am at emotionally has a lot to do with this.  During last weeks mini heat wave I found myself unusually attached to the persistent sadness I feel as a consequence of our fertility issues.  That has probably been brought into focus as we have finally got to see the right doctors… it too 3 1/2 years rather than 6 months to get to this stage, but that's another story.

Currently I feel incredibly drained and my head feels like cotton wool. All I know is that I need to find some way to deal with some of this pain independent of whether we have a child or not.  I need rid of this pain if I’m going to do something rather than just survive.

So where do I start, the honest answer is I’m not really sure.  The obvious answer is I need to spend more time meditating and just being with God and its true that will make a huge difference.  But what else is it that I’m needing, because it feels like there is a lesson I need to learn but I’m just not comprehending what it is.

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